Weird. It is the only word I can think of at this moment accurately describe my commute to work this morning. My mind kept bringing me back to this one thought: this is the LAST time I will be in my car driving to Tarrytown. Right now, as I am typing, is the last time I will be sitting at my desk, typing on this computer. Making the analogy that this is like a death is a little too harsh, a breakup maybe? For two weeks shy of 6 years I have been working with the same company, the same people, and more or less, doing the same thing. I began my position in California, and three years ago was offered a promotion at our company headquarters in Tarrytown, NY moving to the unknown world of New York City. That was a big change. I stayed at the same company, but my entire life changed. A new office, a new apartment, a new city, new friends. Everything around me was new. But this, today, feels like the biggest change of them all. After today I will still have the same apartment, the same friends, a lot of the same life. But I will no longer be coming to work daily with coworkers who are friends, selling natural colors, products I truly believe in, and helping customers use our products. It's bittersweet.
My decision to quit my job was one I did not take lightly. The company I work for treats us like family. I have great benefits, a company car, got to travel and a boss who had compassion for my personal life. But there was always something missing. It took me a long time to figure out what exactly was missing. About a year and a half ago, I began to explore other options. As an avid triathlete and health enthusiast, I began to lean toward the path of nutrition. In what feels like a blur, I took the GREs, completed pre-requisite classes, applied to Columbia's Teachers College masters in Nutrition Education program and became a student. I think though, the most influential part of my decision, was my boyfriend (now fiancé) pushing me to do what I love. If it was not for him, I am actually not sure where I would be today and might not have taken this next step.
As so, I begin 2011 on my incredible new journey. I am once again a full time student. I am doing what I want to be doing, rather than what I feel I should be doing. I will leave work in a few hours. This will be the last day I sit behind my desk, worrying about the safety of our natural colors. I will take the train home today and fall into my fiancee's arms exhausted from the last few months. I will feel worried, anxious, wondering if I made the right decision, but also a sense of relief. I did it. I finally did what I said I was going to do for so long. It is time to move into the new live I can't wait to experience.